上帝也疯狂

让我再选择的话...
也许
就也许...
我会安安份份的去利用我的天赋...



绝对不是画画...
绝对...

我对我的双手已接近绝望...我对我的艺术观已接近恐惧...
我对他人的成就已接近害怕

我对我能做到已接近空白



脑想的多始终适合写或算...


兴趣吗？？？？？
自问.....

答案很暧昧...

理想吗？？？？？

其实

有些出入...



绝定权已不于我手...
我在我不精于的领域里试图和那些天生吃这行做这行
所谓天生的艺术家竞争着...
裁判的眼光并不如期望中的怪...
还是预料中内...



在这努力就是一切的世界里头
吃脑等同犯罪...
在这有资本绝对能走更远的世界里头
不花钱等于没技术...


懒得去学校...
懒得去竞争...
懒得去比较...
懒得去让人觉得
“他有当艺术家的资格咩”


结果...
是让人心灰的...
连发泄也没管道...


继续？？？？是的...
当然要学会不去理...
我真的如预期中
孤独的走在这条路上...


他们太自大了...我融入不了...我牵涉不进...我不受欢迎...我不被接纳...
我也太自大了...我不愿妥协...
也许我仍在找突破点...

突破现有的僵局...

我再也不想听你们的各种评语...
我也对你们做得任何事没有兴趣...

有兴趣的只有...
脑里的稿如何浮现....


all by
K


p/s:妄想症吃药是吃不好的

Hit The Floor

HIT THE FLOOR by Linkin Park

There are just too many
Times that people
Have tried to look inside of me
Wondering what I think of you
And I protect you out of courtesy
Too many times that I�ve
Held on when I needed to push away
Afraid to say what was on my mind
Afraid to say what I need to say
Too many
Things that you�ve said about me
When I�m not around
You think having the upper hand
Means you�ve got to keep putting me down
But I�ve had too many stand-offs with you
It�s about as much as I can stand
Just wait until the upper hand
Is mine

So many people like me
Put so much trust in all your lies
So concerned with what you think
To just say what we feel inside
So many people like me
Walk on eggshells all day long
All I know is that all I want
Is to feel like I�m not stepped on
There are so many things you say
That make me feel like you�ve crossed the line
What goes up will surely fall
And I�m counting down the time
�Cause I�ve had so many stand-offs with you
It�s about as much as I can stand
So I�m waiting until the upper hand
Is mine

One minute you�re on top
The next you�re not
Watch it drop
Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor
One minute you�re on top
The next you�re not
Missed your shot
Making your heart stop
You think you won

And then it�s all gone

I know I�ll never trust a single thing you say
You knew your lies would divide us
But you lied anyway
And all the lies have got you floating
Up above us all
But what goes up has got to fall



不要问我为什么post这个lyric...心虚者必会查字典...



若要人不知，除非己莫言。

接近毁灭的边缘

一条六零吉的用黑绳绑着吊坠...
一幅六十千用尼龙绳挂着的画...

理念与物质化竟用一分钟解释了一切缘由...



为了追求下个怪物浪而牺牲的一切金钱与时间冲浪者得到了他们追寻的理念
为了那完善的画室...意大利家具...共管式公寓...及赖以炫耀骗吃的名声而画出的油画...
那不过是裹着“艺术"糖衣的物质化思想...





但是没有人会去承认...至少现在这刻没有...
我不会去阻碍他们以艺术名义换取身份地位甚至是品味代表的社会定位...


但那一分钟之后...我明白非物质化理想...
艺术??

是海滩边放下一切名成利就...绑着叫价六块钱的廉价项链...以满意的笑容叙述为了一丁点回忆放弃高职及先进国的高品质物质...
来到这个落后的国土寻找廉价的快乐...

还是痛苦的承担与他人比较...社会定位...艺评定价...与时间赛跑...深怕输给他人...却披着与自己比赛的假格言...
去以高价的画作...
与悲惨的人生
来炫耀自己的成就...




我有面包...不需要奢侈品了
我有空地...不需要画室了
我有快乐...


名你他妈的成你鸡白的利就...

相信我
梵谷是快乐的...快乐过了头才会自杀


面包...真正填饱肚的面包并不难...
你们追求的...太奢侈了
我不相信你们在梦想与面包里选择了面包...

你们太贪婪